Chapter 4 – Nirvana (Mokcha)

Nirvana or Mokcha is usually associated with the life after the death. The question I have, who has seen the afterlife? As I said earlier that I have been very close to my father and even now I miss him on daily basis so can anyone bring him to me? I do not think so.

To understand Nirvana we have to understand number of concepts that we have been either told or asked to accept because Ramayana and Gita have mentioned them.

I have said it earlier and I am going to state it very clearly that explanation I am providing on these concepts are mine only. They are not suppose to overwrite others feelings or beliefs. I apologize in advance if I do that. The only reason, I am bringing them out is to get us thinking and act accordingly.

First concept is about life after death. We do not know where human body goes after death. We are also told that all of us are born again but the form and shape is decided by our deeds. Even in Gita Lord Krishna tells Arjun that one has to submit his or her self to him and if not then that person keeps on coming back till he or she submits.

I am not going to take sides on re-birth or no re-birth; but my interpretation of what happens to life after death is different. I hope my explanation will be used to generate a good discussion and thinking process.

We all know that our universe has 3 distinct parts. First is Earth, Second is Paatal (surface below ocean, Third is Aakash. We all know that life exists on Earth and below the oceans. We cannot say the same about Aakash or sky but scientific experiments are proving that life can exists on the planets like Moon etc., which are part of Aakash or sky. When we die we are either buried or cremated.

I must say that there have been cases where people have taken Jal Smadhi or drowned themselves in the scared rivers like Ganga. This form can be understood as becoming part of the ocean as all rivers end up in the ocean. When we are cremated then the body is burned on the pyre created from wood. The smoke created from the burning becomes part of the sky’s atmosphere and the ashes are either scattered on the earth or are deposited in the scared rivers.

When we are buried then the body decomposes. The gases become part of the sky’s atmosphere and the bones remain on the earth. Therefore, in every situation we become part of the elements of the universe.

Now the question comes about rebirth. We have been made to understand that physical part becomes part of the universe but the spiritual part reappears as part of rebirth. The spiritual part is attributed to soul which I have already explained earlier. I think rebirth happens but it happens in one’s life time.

According to our scriptures the life has 4 distinct stages, Child (Balyavastha), Youth (Yuvavastha), Adult (Grihavastha) and Old age (Bridhavastha). Each stage is described to be unique and different. To me this simply means that there are 4 rebirths in everyone’s life. However, if we take this analogy little further then according to me every day in the life can be considered a rebirth. As we know rebirth happens after the death. Once we are dead then active life ceases.

We are oblivious to the things happening around us. In the similar way I consider sleep to be like death. When we are asleep it is all dark. Life comes to standstill during that time. We are totally engrossed with ourselves. Isn’t this death? My father use to tell me to “consider every day as a blessing. Do your best to make it worth living.” I did my best but never thought that every day represents a new life. Now I think about his words and feel how far ahead he was. I am sure we all have heard the phrase, new lease on life or new life. The phrase is mentioned whenever one goes through a critical phase of the life like major surgery, financial or social problem or major accident. This shows that we think that life takes rebirth during our life time but we fail to understand its significance.

Think about a child. After the birth the child goes through distinct stages like crawling, standing up, walking, running and talking. Aren’t these rebirths? We can divide the other 3 stages into different phases as well. For my Ph.D. thesis I used the 4 stages to create a wealth management plan for an individual.

We say life is a struggle. This tells us that every day we face new challenges and use our knowledge and experience to overcome them. We encounter death and rebirth on daily basis in our life but we do not want to accept. We like to keep ourselves in a denial mode. In Hinduism during Deepavali time ladies keep a fast for the long life of their husbands. This fast is called Karwachauth. The important part of this fast is ladies eat food only after witnessing the moon. When Neil Armstrong landed on the moon I told my mother that since man has landed on the moon so you do not have to keep the fast. My mother looked at me and said my moon is different than yours.

The point being, we let the faith guide our life rather than using rational. There is nothing wrong into it but sometimes being ignorant does not help in leading the life. If we think a new day as a rebirth then our thinking will change as well. Our fathers and forefathers always said to make next day better than previous one. We may not have understood its significance at that time but to me they were telling us to use the coming day as a new birth and apply the knowledge and experience gained earlier to make it better.

We all have heard from our elders and saints that do good things in the life so that you can be reborn as another human being. If we think hard about this lesson then we will realize that they were telling us to do good work as it will make upcoming days happier and prosperous.

Second concept is about Swarg (Heaven) and Narak (Hell). Again we have been preached to do good deeds so that after death we can go to Heaven else we will end up in Hell. I have already expressed my views on rebirth therefore, I am going to say, Hell and Heaven both exist during our life time. We face Hell and Heaven situation on a daily basis depending upon our decisions and deeds.

About 3 years back I went to China. I was staying in good hotel. One day after the dinner while going to my room I came across a man who appeared to be totally drunk being controlled by 2 men. The 2 men were having very hard time in controlling the drunk. The drunkard man was shouting, kicking and I think was cursing. Hotel staff heard it and came. Finally they were able to lock the drunkard person in his room. Don’t this drunk was living in Hell? He must be in Heaven when he was drinking as I am sure he must be enjoying the every moment. If we look into our life we all will realize that almost on daily basis we pass through either Hell or Heaven. Sometimes depending upon the situation we spend long time either in Hell or Heaven but both Hell and Heaven are part of our life. There is no separate Hell or Heaven.

As Lord Krishna has said in Gita our deeds determine whether we live in Hell or Heaven. Don’t you think Arjuna was living in Hell when he came to fight and dropped his weapons? He sure was and that is why Lord helped him and brought him into senses so that he can find his way to Heaven. Lord Rama was also living in Hell when searching for Sita. Life goes through rough and smooth patches for all of us. Rough patches are Hell and smooth patches are Heaven. We need to smooth the rough patches using self knowledge as well as the  knowledge of others like our family, friends, teachers and even strangers.

Third concept pertains to brain. Our learned saints and teachers preach that to achieve nirvana one must control the brain or mind. Gita has been quoted to emphasize this point. I do not disagree but at the same time I find it hard to understand this point. I will explain my dilemma by using a simple example.

Every company has a CEO or Chief Executive Officer. This person is responsible for running the company. No one can control the CEO though he or she can be let go. However, there are other important people like accountants, lawyers, department heads etc., who provide advice and knowledge to the CEO so that right decision can be made. Company fails not because CEO was wrong but because someone failed to provide right information. Brain is the controller or is CEO of our body. We all agree on this point. Therefore, how can we control the Brain? However, just like company has key people similarly our body has key components like heart, lungs, kidney, stomach and others to assist the brain in functioning properly. Therefore, it is important to ensure these components are maintained properly.

All wellness consultants and life instructors preach that we must eat healthy and exercise regularly to maintain our body parts. By following their advice we can help the brain to function properly. The lawn of the house always has weeds or unwanted vegetation. The one way gardeners suggest to control or eliminate the weed is to put soil and grass seeds. The idea is to allow good grass to overtake the weeds. To me this solution can be applied to control our brain. Brain has cells which keep information or data. We can fill these cells with good knowledge so that brain can use it to make good decisions.

We all know how to acquire knowledge. This is one reason why our fathers and forefathers always advised us to keep good company, go to school and read good books. In my opinion by keeping our body parts fit and constantly acquiring knowledge we can control the brain. This is one reason why we say Education or Learning is a never ending or life long process. My father said that the biggest gift one can give to other is the ‘Gift of Knowledge.’ How right he was. This is what he did and by his grace we all eight siblings have achieved success.

Meditation has also been suggested as one way to control the brain. Again, Gita is quoted to emphasize the importance of meditation. I am not against meditation but I have an issue with the suggested process for meditation.

What is meditation? To me it is a technique to be with your own self. Why we want to be with ourselves? We need some understanding of these issues. According to me we need to be with our own self either we have a problem or are at crossroad for making a decision. There could be other similar reasons. In these situations we concentrate and request our brain to dig up from its storage a possible solution. It is a crude form of artificial intelligence. Meditation to me allows one to focus. To me this is what Lord Krishna was trying Arjuna to do. To me Gita is about exploiting the power of Artificial Intelligence. I am not a medical person but I think meditation is also an exercise for the brain as it might be allowing brain to get more vital elements like oxygen and blood. It might be strengthening brain muscles or fibers. These could be good reasons but I do not see it as a means to control the brain. All motivational speakers and wellness gurus preach the importance of spending little time in silence which is kind of meditation. They also suggest that one should do it before starting the day.

I definitely see a great benefit of this technique. The whole idea is to reflect on the previous day and prepare a roadmap for the current day. My father always emphasized the importance of planning. I have done this for over 60 years and I cannot tell how it has been instrumental in running my life. I usually do it in the morning over a cup of tea. Try it. I will make another point about this technique which no one has so far mentioned (at least to my knowledge) but I found it very useful.

We all have hopes. Life without hope is meaningless. However, the hardest part is to make them into a reality. The process is to define hopes into goals and put a plan in place to achieve the goals. Having realistic hopes is must. My father always told me to keep hopes simple. In this way there is a chance that they can be realized. This makes sense because we all have limitations and constraints. If we can break the hope into simple and attainable goals then we have a chance to succeed. It becomes easier to put plans in place. The time with our self allows us to do just that. I have done it and I am all of us can do it. I consider myself successful and I owe all to my father’s simple advice to have simple and realistic hopes. Dreams are hopes. Hopes are also objectives of our life. Life without objectives is in my opinion is simple waste of time.

I must add that ambitions can easily be converted into goals compared to hopes. However, I think my father had a good reason in emphasizing on hopes. Hopes are kind like dreams. Therefore, do not require action. They depend on external intervention. Ambitions are relate to individuals therefore, do not require external intervention. They are dependent upon individual’s efforts, therefore can be achieved. Converting hopes into goals requires extra effort and strong desire. I have to say that my father always pressed all my brothers and sisters to do our best. He will push us to the limits. Because of his insistence on doing the best as we can, all of my fathers and sisters have managed to do well in the life.

Another benefit of this technique is to help us manage the time. Again I have not seen it being mentioned anywhere. We all know that Time cannot be stopped. We all have been taught that time has 3 distinct parts, Past, Present and Future. I disagree. To me Time has only two parts Past and Future because it cannot be stopped. What we consider to be Present is either immediate past or immediate upcoming future; most of the time it is the past as we can easily relate to.

All high achievers and successful people have been able to make the time work for them. The technique is to learn from the past to make the future. This technique requires planning. If we can learn to live in future we can achieve success. The practice of spending few moments alone or be with our self allows us to create a future based on the past. This should be done on day to day basis. Meditation can be used as well.

Another technique that can be used, I call it, fooling the brain. Number of people have mentioned it but did not name it. Therefore, I came up with this simple name. The technique requires us to change our routine or daily patterns and habits. For example most of us do some form of exercise or walking in the morning. By making little change like taking a new path then usual or changing the pace or changing the sequence helps in fooling the brain as pattern has changed. If we follow a set pattern then muscles also get used to that pattern therefore, they become rigid. We all know that mind or brain controls everything therefore, the changing the pattern might help in maintaining the sharpness of the brain or in another way keeps it alert.

Key is to keep the brain active. Positive thinking also helps in managing the brain. I feel that optimistic persons are better equipped to manage the brain then pessimistic persons. My father was a very optimistic person and I feel that has helped us to be successful.

Now let us discuss Nirvana or Mokcha. According to our scriptures and teachings Nirvana is a state of Total Bliss. This state is reached when Atma and Parmatma become one. If one thinks logically then everyone reaches this state on death. So what is the use? The process to reach this state during one’s life time is not easy. Also nobody knows what this state represents. There are descriptions and explanations but not very many real examples.

I feel the reason could be that it is hard to find time from our daily grind to perform the tasks required to reach the state. I think if we define Nirvana based on our life cycle then there is a possibility of achieving it during our life time. Therefore, I think Nirvana means coming to terms with one’s life or making peace with ourselves or simply feeling content. Also, Nirvana is described to be the state that is same for everyone. In my opinion this could be another reason why we are unable to achieve this state since we all are different.

Life of every individual is different. There might be some similarity but in general we all have different limitations and constraints. There are strengths and weaknesses. We cannot equate one person’s strengths with another person. Same can be said for the weakness. Therefore, it is logical to say that Nirvana is also based on individual level just like Atma and Parmatma.

My father told me that before going to bed make sure all your worries are taken care off. We all must have heard the saying –  ‘do not take problems to the bed.’ If we closely look into these advices we can understand Nirvana. As I said every day is a new life similarly Nirvana is also based on day by day basis. I have followed my father’s advice to the best of my ability and I can say that it has always helped my upcoming day a better one. We all encounter problems and issues as we go along during the day but before retiring if we can review them and try to resolve them then the next day bound to be a better day. It is just like applying artificial intelligence to our daily life.

The way to resolve worries involves using our knowledge and past experience. In case this is not sufficient then we should seek help from other persons which could be family members, friends or relatives. This is what Arjun did. Lessons and examples are there but we do not pay attention. We look at the big picture. To me this is a real issue. We all must have read Gita or heard from some wise person(s) but I am sure we would not have tried to see its applicability in our life. We say Arjun said or Lord said. We never say what I said.

This is why when I read Gita I understood it very differently then what was being mentioned by the authors. We all know that life is not a straight line. At what stage it will throw an in-swinger or out-swinger or even a bouncer is not clear therefore, preparing ahead like a batsman is very important. This is what Nirvana is all about, preparing oneself for all the eventualities. If we are prepared then we will be content.

I consider life to be a train journey. Every train journey has a starting station and ending station. Life’s starting station is birth and ending station is death. This is same for every person. However, every person takes its own train to reach the destination or end point. The train passes through number of stations. Some are big and some are small. We treat every station differently. At some we spend more time depending upon the time and at some we just get down and stretch. However, we make sure that we board the train on time otherwise we will be left behind and may lose everything. People who spend the time in preparing for the journey reach the destination happily and people who plan when the station comes are always in tension and pressure. These are the people who can miss boarding the train. This is why we need to plan. We can use meditation or few moments with self to plan. Learning from past and using it for future is also a planning mechanism.

My father told me to divide the day in 3 parts, breakfast, lunch and dinner and allocate the tasks accordingly and use the after dinner time to review all the tasks and prepare for the next day. I never paid much attention when I was young, but as I started to age I started to understand the meaning of the advice and I can say without hesitation that it has made my life very simple. More importantly, I do not need any advice on finding Nirvana.

Nirvana is also about living within the means. We all have heard the saying – ‘stretch your legs based on the length of bed sheet.’ The key part of this saying is to understand the limitations and making sure we cross the limitations after understanding the consequences. We all try to go beyond the limitations without fully understanding the consequences. We like to take a chance. Taking risk is good but understanding the probabilities associated with the risk is more important than taking the risk. We say that one who dares gets success; but we never understand that the person who got the success by being daring, had done good planning beforehand.

This might be little off the topic but it does make a sense here to narrate the incident. When I was in grade 7, I had a teacher. He told us that never compare yourself to person over you. For example, if you have a bicycle, then compare yourself to the person who is walking; not to the one who is on a motorcycle. Instead, should work hard to own a motorcycle someday. To this day I have never forgotten this advice. It has done wonders in my life.

Nirvana does not help only an individual but also the society. Think and you will be able to see the truth in it. I will again use my father’s advice to explain. My father told me that no one is born bad, corrupt or evil. We make a person bad, corrupt or evil. This took me a while to understand but when I read Ramcharit Manas and Ravana, then I understood the real meaning. Narad muni created Ravana. I will go further and make a very controversial statement that most of the time good creates bad or evil. My father said that if one takes care of his or herself and also makes sure that kids are also taken care of then the society will not have any bad or evil people. I put this advice in the context of Nirvana, if we are content and feel good about our self then society will benefit automatically. This is why role of Character and Ego are important.

We all have heard, a blind person cannot guide another blind person. I will illustrate the importance of this saying through an example. We all must have taken a plane ride. Before the plane takes off crew shows the safety video. During the segment on air pressure the video shows a mother sitting with her daughter. The video says put your mask first before assisting others. Then it shows mother putting her mask and then helping her daughter put her mask. We all know that for every mother child is the most precious thing. In this video they mother helping her daughter put her mask later. There cannot be any more powerful message than this one emphasizing how important it is to be strong first or taking care of one’s own needs first. To achieve Nirvana one has to be strong or in other words must build his or her own character.

Nirvana is not difficult to achieve, it requires only one thing, Thinking. Think before you act, take a deep breath or take baby steps are all emphasizing the need for Thinking. Thinking requires planning. Planning does not need to be elaborate activity it can be very simple. Therefore, if we make a habit of understanding what we want to do and why the life can become content or happy.

I will like to share few more advices that I received from my father because they also help in character building.

My father never liked the phrase – ‘Why me?’ We say ‘Why Me’ when something bad happens to oneself. My father use to say that by saying – ‘why it has to happen to me’ means you are not strong enough to handle it. It shows weakness. I think that it makes one selfish. There is a cause for everything. We just give up and take an easy route. I say that nobody cares about how you feel. They might offer their sympathy but problem has to be solved by you alone. Crying and complaining has never helped anyone. The right step is to understand the problem and then use the knowledge and experience to resolve it.

Another thing my father never appreciated – ‘making excuse’. I never understood why he will get mad if I cannot do anything because of some valid reason. Over the years I have tried to understand it and now I do. Excuse is a statement to make one feel good about inaction. It is trying to offer justification to a wrong act. I think it makes one dishonest to oneself as well as the other person.

If we plan the day and then someone asks us to do something then we must have the courage to say no if we know that it will be hard to do. We just try to make our self look good in the eyes of the other person. The creation of the false image can be source of major problems later. If we promise something we must deliver. I have erased the word excuse. I have to say that people who know me understand very well that I will keep my words. Excuse destroys the trust. My father never explained it but now I think how wise he was though he will say all the time that “where there is will there is a way”. I think this saying tells us that excuse is not a quality to have.  No wonder he had a very solid character or a dynamic personality.

In conclusion I will say that Atma is character, Parmatma is Ego and Nirvana is thinking. In Short it can be represented as CET.

Can we say Life = CET?

(Life is Build character, Eliminating Ego and Embracing Thinking or Life is BEE).