Chapter 3 – Parmatama

Atma is easy to comprehend and understand. However, Parmatama is difficult to comprehend and understand because it is a concept. I feel that as Ramcharitmanas is about Atma and the Bhagwad Gita is about Parmatama. According to our saints Parmatma is universal and it is same for everybody.

Lord Krishna also tells Arjun to give himself to him as he is supreme. I agree, however, my interpretation of this conversation is different because we have to consider the situation under which this conversation took place. Arjun was in a state of shock and was looking for solace. Lord Krishna understood the situation and provided him love and encouragement. We need to think and act according to the circumstances. We cannot generalize. Submitting to someone without any reason is like taking a short cut. Most of the time taking short cut or cutting corners leads one to commit mistake.

Swami Prabhupada has mentioned in his version of Gita that one should submit to Krishna Consciousness. If we think then consciousness refers to the brain and Krishna would be also part of the brain which probably is unknown. Goswami Tulsi Das has mentioned in Ramcharit Manas that one is very fortunate to be born as a human being. This means that human being has all the tools to achieve the goals. Therefore, Parmatma has to be part of one’s brain.

Let us take a different route to understand my point – why Partmatma is not universal. Our saints say that Partmatma is God which is fine. But, Lord Krishna was a human being and he is portrayed as God? Therefore, how can we submit to him as does not exist? I agree with Tulsidas. What Lord Krishna was telling Arjun to look within and he will find the answer. This is exactly what happened. All of us have unique soul and all of us have unique Partmatma and both are related to our brain.

As Atma is different for everybody in a similar manner Parmatma is also different for everybody. We all have same body parts but their make is different for everybody. Therefore, we cannot generalize. I believe Parmatama is represented by Ego. As Parmatma is undefined similarly Ego is also undefined. Ego exists in the brain but where and how that is not clear just like God who might exist within us but we do not know. Ego is like reflex action. It just happens. We all have heard the term – ‘Snapping Out.’ This refers to the state when our mind looses the control. I think it is the Ego that triggers this state.

We may not believe this but I think our Karmas are responsible for Ego. We do Karmas to acquire knowledge or money or power. Depending upon the situation Ego arises because of these things. Ego also comes into play because of the person’s status. For example elders in the family think that because of their status they should be respected and followed. Husband in most of the situations takes action on behalf of the wife without any hesitation. Good example will be Raja Dasrath who did not consult his wives before deciding to make Rama the Yuvraj. Teacher shuts the student off when challenged. Manager forces sub-ordinates to do as told. Rich person thinks that person can be bought over. These are simple and everyday examples of Ego. Ego is bad in most of the cases. It can be termed as False Pride or Show off. Whenever we feel that our pride is being hurt or our status is challenged Ego comes into play.

Ego is a result of arrogance or ignorance. In case of arrogance Ego happens knowingly whereas in case of ignorance it happens unknowingly. In both situations it is bad. However, arrogance is worse than ignorance since it is done by a conscious mind.

Another reason for Ego can be feeling of Threat or Insecurity. In this case we can take preventive actions. We all have heard the saying that offence is the best defense. Ego can be a means to defend oneself against a threat or feeling of insecurity. Ego always results in hurting other person’s feelings.

My father told me 2 things –

• First, respect and love are earned not demanded, and
• Second, nobody can take anything from you unless you allow.

I never paid close attention to these teachings but now I think they can be mechanism to control Ego. The first advice is about treating everybody with equality. It also means that we all should not take things for granted. We should recognize the existence of everyone as one of us. The second advice on the other hand is about not taking advantage of our position when dealing with others.

What we have will stay with us unless we decide to part with, a very powerful thought. We think hard then we will realize that there is no need to show off. My father said that Wealth, Power and knowledge should be used to help others who are not fortunate. They should not be used to undermine others dignity. I say we all have the right to live with dignity irrespective of our situation and we all must ensure that it is not compromised.

We all have been dealt a sequence of cards and we need to do our best to achieve our goals. We have to remember not to cheat or deceive others while playing our cards to win. There is a game of cards called Bridge and it is about using the skills, knowledge and logic to win. We have to remember not to be selfish kind of human being.

My father told me that life consists of ups and down. It is never smooth. The key is to learn from the life when it is going up and then apply the lessons when it is going down. This is exactly what Gita is all about.

Parmatma can only be controlled by having strong Atma. We cannot go to Atma from Parmatma. This is the reason why Lord Rama came before Lord Krishna. This is the reason why our emphasis on teaching Gita is not bringing desired results because we lack strong Atma.

In the equation of –

 success (Success = 3xH. The 3 H are; Hard work, Honesty and Humility)

Humility represents Parmatma. Being nice to everyone does not cost anything but pay back is tremendous. Down to Earth phrase represents the quality of humbleness. We use this saying all the time to describe a person who has achieved success in the life. One such person I would like to mention was India’s President Late Dr A.P.J. Abdul Kalam. I am very fortunate to have met him at an event in Toronto. I was trying to find my way to meet him and he saw it and came on his own to shake my hands. As we say that it takes a big heart to be nice to every person in the world.

We can learn from Lord Rama. I would like to mention a small event that took place during Sita Swaymbar. During conversation with Parusram Lord Rama mentioned that my name is mere Rama and yours is Parusram so why I would boast or show off? You will always be bigger than me. We all know what happened after that. Controlling Ego makes one a gentleman.

Some may argue that some people are always humble. I agree. However, we should try to see little bit further because humbleness can also be used to seek help just like Arjun. It is a great tool to get others support if one is down or has self esteem issue.

Arguments can also create an Ego issue. We have heard the saying, Healthy arguments. This is about Win-Win situation. This quality has been very well explained in the 7 Habits of Successful People. When we have discussions we should ensure that feelings are not hurt. We should know when to stop.

There are number of sayings that our ancestors and wise men have preached but somehow we tend to ignore them. All these sayings refer to the control of Ego. I am going to mention few –

• First, When a Pawn becomes the Queen then it moves diagonally.
• Second is, Do not forget your roots or upbringing.
• Third is Keep the feet on the ground, and
• Fourth is Give and Take. All these are about Ego management.

As I said earlier that Ego is a reflex action. It is hard to manage it. However, my father told me one thing and I have heard from number of wise people, we should think before we act. Also, the phrase, take a deep breath helps in managing Ego. These actions are also part of being a good listener.

The phrase, don’t be a jerk? It is a reaction of a person when the other person tries to show off.

There are symptoms of Ego which we tend to ignore. When people are trying to avoid you or are afraid to talk to you it could be one such symptom. When we get praised or recognized then we are also told by our fathers do not let it go to your head. This refers to the symptom of Ego. Understanding the symptoms and taking action to fix them is managing Ego.

In conclusion I will say that Humbleness is the single quality for managing the Ego.